Get a Free Read Here!

I’ve decided to post my earlier work under a Creative Commons license. First up, The Weird Colonial Boy. Will upload asap! Stay tuned for other novels and some short fiction online as soon as I get the copyright sorted with original paper publishers and get time to upload and lay it out. So come and get it!

2 Replies to “Get a Free Read Here!”

  1. Alright, I’m still spell checking it. So here’s a taste of something else just in case anybody at all is reading this. It’s something I wrote for my daughter Mia when she was born and revised it last year when the band I was in turned it into a bit of Irish punk:

    Ringworm the Pirate

    By the tropic shores of Queensland
    Lives a scarface pirate ape
    Ringworm’s job was to scrub the deck
    He’d scrape the ship shipshape
    He’d vacuum clean the Captain’s tie
    And the First Mate’s great fat ears
    The rats, to spy his fearsome eye
    Leapt overboard in tears

    [CHORUS (very fast):]

    Ahrr, Ringworm’s chest was broad and brown
    And his hands were thick and tough
    And even when he hit the town
    He rolled like seas were rough
    And he never ever had no pirate super
    And he never once fell in love, but—
    He cut that salty caper
    He gave the sea the shove

    The fat Mate cried, “My ears are red!”
    And his stupid pals agreed
    The cat complained, “The rats are fled
    I likes to see ‘em bleed.”
    But the Captain roared, “JUST LET HIM BE!!!!”
    And everyone went quiet—
    The cat went swimming in the sea
    The Mate went on a diet


    So the sails were scrubbed till they were white
    (They started out bright red)
    He washed the ocean waves all night
    And swept the deep sea bed
    From bow to stern she was shiny clean
    Till Ringworm made a slip—
    His parrot squawked, “He didn’t mean
    To scrub holes in the ship.”


    And as Ringworm rowed toward the land
    They spat and called him stuff
    Like “anal boy” and “prostate gland”
    He took it pretty rough
    And Ringworm sang a sad sad song
    But now he’s doing fine—
    Just don’t leave your feet too long
    At “The Old Sea Dog Shoeshine”!

    Ah, his pirate chest’s still brown and broad
    And his hands are tough and thick
    And even down at the dance downtown
    He rolls like he’s seasick
    And though never had super sacrifice
    And he’s only ever dreamt of love—
    He’s given away the brine by Christ
    He gave the sea the shove!
    He’s given away the brine by Christ
    He gave the sea the shove!

    Creative Commons License

    Ringworm the Pirate is licensed under a
    Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Australia License.

  2. Oh, and here’s some music we (the Five O’Clock Shadows) tried with it, that may or may not work:

    Am Em F Em
    Am Em F G
    Am Em F Em
    Am Em F G
    C Em F C
    C B Am G
    C Em F C
    C Em stop G C

    verse 1
    verse 2
    verse 3
    verse 4
    with repeated last bar
    C Em stop G C outro

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